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My Doctor Grabbed Me By

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"

The Doctor Called Mrs Cohen

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"

Doctor My Leg Hurts

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says "Limp!"

A Man Goes To A

A man goes to a psychiatrist "Nobody listen to me!" The doctor says "Next!"

Nurse Doctor The Man You

Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."

I Know A Guy Who

I know a guy who had his doctor say "take some weight off, go to a health club." This man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!

Police Station Toilet Stolen Cops

Police Station toilet stolen....Cops have nothing to go on.

Schizophrenia Beats Being Alone

Schizophrenia beats being alone.

All True Wisdom Is Found

All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.

If A Thing Is Worth

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Good Health Is Merely The

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

When Blondes Have More Fun

When blondes have more fun do they know it?

Losing A Husband Can Be

Losing a husband can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.

Jesus Is Coming Look Busy

Jesus is coming! Look Busy.

My Wild Oats Have Turned

My Wild Oats Have turned to Shredded Wheat!

Is Reading In The Bathroom

Is reading in the bathroom considered multi-tasking?

What Happens If You Get

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Always Try To Be Modest

Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!

If You Think Nobody Cares

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

Chastity Is Curable If Detected

Chastity is curable, if detected early.

Hell Hath No Fury Like

Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

Bills Travel Through The Post

Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.

A Conscience Is What Hurts

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Radioactive Cats Have 18 Half

Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.

Polynesia Memory Loss

Polynesia -- memory loss in parrots.

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